the first test paper on tues sucked.
after that,
yy and i played pool.
and he came along & we played billard.
die.
no self-motivation to study.
tomorrow's another test paper.
more looking forward to
after the paper.
haha.
i dreamt of so much these days.
to think i actually dreamt of quitting school.
i must be disliking school in reality.
maybe the peeps are just - ugh.
is it just me or what?
i have difficulty falling asleep at night.
having a tendency to only be able to sleep earliest at 2am.
no good.
it must be the night outs.
my mom sees my friends and complains we are a bunch of crazy owls.
the nights are always young.
but so bad for overall health.
sigh.
actions do contradict words.
what reason are we living for?
even the greatest philosophers do not know.
HAHA.
hmm,
you hong ming - ai wo de ren he wo ai de ren
i keep hearing this song these few days
and all of jay's latest songs.
love to hear the guys sing.
lets go k!
alright,
did i mention how i spent my ny countdown?
shockingly - home mapling.
am i not into the whole celebration or what?
well, this you cannot blame,
because we were practically drained by the sleepless nights at the chalet.
lol.
then again, we could at least have headed out for supper or something?
maybe i should hope a little more.
not letting things go into the hopeless drain.
maybe giving more hope to myself too
would do great wonders.
now i feel i'm living my life as it is today.
yesterday was yesterday.
and tomorrow is not coming yet.
so i HOPE to enjoy a day as a day.
perhaps it feels more practical to me this way?
i hate people asking me, "so what goals do you have?"
i hate the word
goals.
you have goals, okay. you go ahead.
i'm still figuring out mine in time to come.
is it wrong?
it isn't, so back off.
even if i've thought about mine i wouldn't like to go around asking people.
it's weird.
i remember learning this from church -
"concentrate on the things that you are good at."
so what are YOU good at?
tell me about it.
i remember an ex boyfriend
whom we broke up on christmas day.
i feel cursed on christmas day itself.
i've never really had some GREAT christmas.
no, it's no coincidence.
and though having a boyfriend on christmas this year,
i don't feel an extremely special one.
he asked me if i loved surprises.
YES i replied.
"i wanted to surprise you, but somehow i have no idea what to surprise you with."
this wasn't a surprising answer, i thought.
lols.
sometimes it's the thought that counts,
but we can see it in a guy's eyes if it's true or false.
i've had ex boyfriends who love lying.
just their BAD habit.
i could complain to no one but my girlfriends.
and they tell me about theirs.
i've had ex boyfriends who give honest answers.
those were the sweet people.
but they still lied in the end.
also, some just lie even though they know that we're aware of the lie.
sometimes it's cute.
sometimes it's not.
well, like i remembering saying it before,
single females are actually doing ALOT better than single males.
some people just get all the luck.
(:
sometimes it's not about material happiness.
it's more about who's around you to share joy with.
How to make a Janel