I read this book which made me ponder much, my past that is.
You, Maybe by Rachel Vailsheesh,
most of the time I keep my posts simple in here,
without adding too much details of what kind of person I really am and what sort of things I do daily.
sometimes i feel i don't reveal alot,
and maybe today i might just say a little more.
you could say I ain't someone who shows my emotions much,
and I seldom show my affections.
you would probably never see me smile much,
and people who know me well enough understands that part of me.
i never quite show my boyfriend how much i care for him.
nor give him a hug in public.
it just isn't my thing to show my affections,
and sometimes i feel he doesn't understand me in my shoes.
i used to frequent places which held nothing but trouble,
it was during those days when i wasn't in the right mind.
and maybe it was that sort of feeling i had,
for places to club and drink,
that made me place little trust in people.
eventually those friends were never the ones who understood,
they sounded like the best people around,
but i knew from scratch there was nothing in them.
they had no brains to think.
but they were united for as long as... i don't know.
when i left for good,
it just wasn't easy.
going back to them was as easy as getting a cigarette lit.
it turned out there was more to life than them.
practically all i've gotta say,
i wouldn't think of mentioning them anymore.
so, about the book called
You, Maybe,
i felt that the main character reminded me of me in some ways
and that Golden Boy whom she fell in love with reminded me of an ex boyfriend.
after reading the entire book, i had that urge to send an SMS that ex-boyfriend to say we should never talk again
and get him to read that book.
well, it was him in the story alright.
and at that point of time,
I wanted to write my own book.
okay, he was one who made me feel like i was at constant fault.
and somehow or another, i was amazingly convinced it was my wrong doing.
i always fell into that same trap and
i could help it not.
there was me helplessly crawling and the thought of ringing a best friend up only made me felt lonelier than ever.
there were too many problems starting from the root itself.
and being the funny character, i thought he was just another guy who came around to have a drink or two,
and say goodbye.
he had those clever lines,
and stupid lines like, "I love you"
he twisted me around like spaghetti,
while using his last stance of Farewell note to end it all.
if ever in my life i regret,
it's telling him what massive painful mess he left behind and
kicking him at his groin,
i kid you not.
anyway, it's said before and maybe it's now time to toast,
to whatever that's making me feel like a freed human,
(maybe the part of destroying his manhood, grin)
oh well, quit drinking so much alcohol people,
let's toast with tea instead.
cheerio
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