i doubt i'll be missing certain happenings in my life.
not even things that i feel had a great impact on me somehow.
a great impact could mean something negative, no?
so, i can't quite figure out how people regret so deeply on some stuffs.
of course let's just say not cherishing someone whom you could never treasure anymore, since he's gone, would be something to be shameful or guilty about.
other than that,
i don't see what's to be regretful of.
anyway,
i hated tuition days when i was younger,
and you could never imagine that sort of sadness when its time for tuition.
sometimes i wonder what's there to miss in my childhood,
seriously.
failing a subject would see me to more tuition teachers,
and extra assesment books.
cartoon time was limited to pathetically one hour per day.
i just didn't have a good time at play or whatsoever.
so after being forced to score in PSLE,
i got a score of 233, 'A's in every subject, which managed to please my parents,
but not getting into a good school was another thing.
i was promised that i could get a new handphone (Nokia 8250)
and somehow i didn't get what gave me the drive to study for.
i was demoralised not at my scores,
for it almost never bothered me,
but at the fact that i was given false hope.
in secondary school,
my tuition days weren't over,
but i was less pressurized,
i failed subjects like never before.
and history was my weakest, at 5/100
humanities was never my family's strength.
mathematics is.
courses i wanted to get in required at least a humanities, as well as some other necessary subjects like English, Mathematics etc.
i was grateful i had Literature to act on as my humanities subject.
for i failed Geography and Social Studies in the O levels,
i managed to score 15 points to get into a good course in Poly.
and so now time flies, like always and i'll be moving on to Year 3,
which reminds me it's my year end results tomorrow,
and it's not that i've been counting down the days,
but i know i haven't been going to school for most of the year,
which could easily reflect in my results.
people who can't digest their food because of the anxiety and impatience might be counting down the minutes for all you know.
hmm, oh well.
wish me luck.
hmm,
i'm not in my best moods right now,
not because of the results, but
because i was lectured about using the loo after midnight.
it's no sacarsm i tell you.
in the mornings, the mom yells.
"Don't use the common toilet if you have to use it after
she sleeps! Come to my room if you must!"
and today i listened, for once, but i was shot at once again.
"What time is it now? Why didn't you use the toilet earlier, you'll wake
her up!!"
i was speechless.
So what's the situation now?
Shall i just place a potty in my bedroom, pee in it,
and inhale my waste the entire night?
and so,
you must be wondering that
she must be a very important person to deserve such caution and respect,
to have us tip toe to the toilet without even turning on the lights,
for fear she'd awake at slightest pin drop.
and to your very surprise,
she is our tenant.
and
only a tenant.
and what sort of tenant, or rather, person is she?
i've never seen such a light sleeper like her.
she should sleep in an air-tight container.
and who is she to make my mom lecture me?
she complains about the slightest swtich sounds, and lizard noises.
and i can't imagine the flushing of the toilet.
think about it,
in such a dire situation of urgency to release,
must i have absolutely no freedom to pee whenever my body reqiures me to do so?
having to lower my volume when the baby is asleep makes me feel uncomforatble enough,
understandable, yes?
but for this lady in the next room,
it definitely ain't going to work out.
no way.
if she's staying for long,
i'm going -
to some place which allows me free expression.
How to make a Janel